Unwanted Attention

Ok, it's something that has to come up sometime. It is impossible to truly portray what it is like to be a complete outsider who cannot leave your house without being stared at, talked to, and judged. Now this isn't bad all the time, but if the right circumstances arise, it can test the patience of even the most calm person. Most of the time, I handle it well, but I've cracked a couple of times and yelled at people and told kids to get away.

All this stems from being totally different from everyone here. Because of the lack of transportation and communication, most people have never seen anyone outside of their own race. Seeing a white person or an American is cause for curiosity. Most people are curious about a.) what you are (some people deep in the country think you're a ghost), why you are there (why is this rich white person here in our village), and what can you do for them (give me money!).

I don't mind the curious children or the people who want to talk to someone new and find out about what America is like, but there are certain things that can really get on my nerves:
Muzungu...it means white person in just about every language spoken in country. People refer and classify you by that. This bothers me, cause in America, you'd never be like "hey black guy" or "hey Asian guy", but people do that here. They call out muzungu to get your attention because you are different and they want to talk to you. I don't mind if they describe me to someone else as "the white guy", cause sometimes that's the easiest way to tell someone about you (just like "he's a man"). What bothers me, is when it becomes my name. If you want my attention say "ssebo (sir)" or "hey you" or anything but that classification. If people don't call that out, they just stop and stare. All the time. Literally stop what they were doing or where they were going and stare. Coming from a place where staring is rude and people generally leave each other alone, this is tough to deal with.

I also get tired of people asking for money. I sometimes get mean which is not like me and not something i'm proud of. The thing is, people are REALLY poor with not a lot of opportunities. I don't mind people trying to better there lives in a desperate attempt, that's understandable, but the fact that they assume that since I'm white I have tons of money to just give them, is unfair and annoying. It is true that many international donors have flown in, thrown some money around and then left, but that's not why I'm here. I'm way more receptive when people pump me for info about going or studying in the US. I give them some info and then promptly tell them that they can make their own country better by staying here and fighting for change. I never get a fair price either. I always get the "muzungu" price which is inflated based on skin color. I'm learning to fight for the right price but it's disconcerting sometimes because you realize that you're fighting with someone making under a dollar a day over mere cents. It's the fairness factor that let's me do this. Plus, I'm a volunteer and on a budget.

I know that frustration with people's attitudes are a normal phase of my experience. Some people get really bitter but I don't think I will go down that road. I understand why people do what they do and most people are really friendly and open. It's just about sometimes you have a bad day and want to be left alone. This post is just some venting and I want people to keep in mind that I'm having a great time and have met so many amazing, caring people that the unwanted attention is just something that comes with the job. Take care...and don't call me Muzungu!! :)